Habits can take a long time to form. One of the powerful ways to program a new behavior or a new habit is to repeat it successfully many times as some psychologists recommend. Let’s take an example of a person who has a fear of public speaking. If the person can successfully speak publicly many times, then he will vanish the old behavior and create a new one as his subconscious mind has programmed a new behavior. So creating a new habit by repeating it many times depends on a variety of factors, if the person himself is quick he will program a new behavior in a short number of times, but if vice versa then he needs a long time. Indeed it depends on factors like for example the willingness that the person has, the discipline, the belief that he had behind the change, and the past intensive programming that he has been through. But if he can repeat it many times he should be sure that he did it successfully to create a new behavior. If you have a fear of public speaking you would have to do it several times for example with your self in a room, standing in front of a mirror and imagining that there are a lot of people setting in front of you and listening to you right now while you are speaking to them. So you would do that many times, it might be in a short time or even in a long time, but it would become absolutely easier by the time as you have already done it with your self. You will feel you start having your anxiety under management rather than controlling it, and now then it becomes a new behavior, in which your subconscious mind will feel ok to adopt the new behavior and to subtract the old one. Here is another example; many people suffer from insomnia, what happens is that they have been programmed themselves every time they put their heads on a pillow they start thinking! So with the time, that becomes the new behavior whenever you put your head on the pillow you automatically start thinking and therefore you don’t sleep or you struggle to sleep. But if you repeat a new behavior now by doing the following; whenever you go to sleep and you start thinking you should get up and start simply walking or writing, that means you have to do something instead. After that off course you will get tired and sleepy and you would go back again to sleep, and once you put your head on the pillow again all the thoughts come and the sleep goes, so you should get up again and do something instead and so on. It might be done several times of getting up – it doesn’t matter- until your subconscious get the idea that the pillow is actually for sleeping. Most of the people have been programmed for many years that the pillow is for thinking, and the mind, unfortunately, accepted and absorbed it. Now as you have created a new behavior by doing it so many times until it becomes the new one and then the subconscious will realize and suddenly cry “Aha! Its ok, so the pillow is for sleeping, I didn’t know I thought the pillow is for thinking!” That’s how you had programmed your subconscious for many years. So whenever you want to program a new behavior, repeat it many times but it has to be done successfully. So what if I didn’t do it successfully? It’s alright you don’t have to be perfect, just do it again and do it successfully even if you fail many times, just start again and keep doing it without giving that much importance and without being so attached, otherwise you would suffer because of giving much importance, which really does not need that importance. At the end, how long it takes to create a particular habit doesn’t really matter that much. Whether it takes 21 days or 40 days or even six months, you have to embrace the process with full commitment and to focus on doing the work.
Remember Life is simple. Just stop thinking and start living now, and that should be by doing.